Comments on: The Painful Long-Distance Only Relationship http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/ Yet Another Gaijin In Japan Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:12:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Jason http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1994 Jason Mon, 10 Nov 2008 07:32:47 +0000 http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1994 Ouch ... what a terrible thing to have happen! Long distance relationships can work, but it takes an incredible amount of trust on both sides. I hope that your future relationships are much more rewarding, e-one :???: Ouch … what a terrible thing to have happen!

Long distance relationships can work, but it takes an incredible amount of trust on both sides. I hope that your future relationships are much more rewarding, e-one :???:

]]> By: e-one http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1993 e-one Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:02:35 +0000 http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1993 You're right, long distance relationship was never really work out fine. I have someone in Japan - I'm in Indonesia. We know each other from Friendster and start to get along each other well, he even visit me to Indonesia. We have loving relationship for 1 year and he visit me for 1 month only. When he go back to Japan, then he meet someone else. I learn very important things from my own life, that if you wanna succeed in a long distance relationship, first of all; a faithful trust, a real solid one. Being faithfuly trust your lover, and he / she doing the same for you would make a solid ground even when hard time comes. Secondly; when your lover came to visit you, even thousand miles away - make sure you visit him / her back, right after he / she left your country. I know, it is hard... but it is the only way to keep you both tighten and closer even for some time only, because the computer component is way to cold compare to someone's arm on your lover's hand. You’re right, long distance relationship was never really work out fine. I have someone in Japan - I’m in Indonesia. We know each other from Friendster and start to get along each other well, he even visit me to Indonesia. We have loving relationship for 1 year and he visit me for 1 month only. When he go back to Japan, then he meet someone else. I learn very important things from my own life, that if you wanna succeed in a long distance relationship, first of all; a faithful trust, a real solid one. Being faithfuly trust your lover, and he / she doing the same for you would make a solid ground even when hard time comes. Secondly; when your lover came to visit you, even thousand miles away - make sure you visit him / her back, right after he / she left your country. I know, it is hard… but it is the only way to keep you both tighten and closer even for some time only, because the computer component is way to cold compare to someone’s arm on your lover’s hand.

]]> By: Kimchihead http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1359 Kimchihead Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:51:30 +0000 http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1359 You have to be smoking crack to move halfway around the globe for a part-time lover. You have to be smoking crack to move halfway around the globe for a part-time lover.

]]> By: Ed http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1357 Ed Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:55:34 +0000 http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1357 I've seen both sides of the coin on this subject. A close friend of mine is now married to someone he met online. Granted, he was a very social person, and they didn't spend much time speaking to each other. I've also seen friends NOT hit it off. The main reason I've seen is expectations and preconceptions. It's easy for us to "fill in the blanks" on what another person is like. How much of our communication is non-verbal; from hand gestures to facial expression, it all changes the meaning behind the words we say. Many people fill these blanks in with characteristics they like. When they finally do meet, they find that the persona they've created in their imagination and the person they encounter IRL are two completely different people. Perhaps it's the inability to overcome this shock, or maybe it's a subconscious impulse to reject someone who has, in a way, broken your trust, your confidence in them. Whatever the reason (social aptitude aside), I've seen lots of friends expect one thing, find something different, and give pretty much the same reasons listed. I’ve seen both sides of the coin on this subject. A close friend of mine is now married to someone he met online. Granted, he was a very social person, and they didn’t spend much time speaking to each other.

I’ve also seen friends NOT hit it off. The main reason I’ve seen is expectations and preconceptions. It’s easy for us to “fill in the blanks” on what another person is like. How much of our communication is non-verbal; from hand gestures to facial expression, it all changes the meaning behind the words we say. Many people fill these blanks in with characteristics they like.

When they finally do meet, they find that the persona they’ve created in their imagination and the person they encounter IRL are two completely different people. Perhaps it’s the inability to overcome this shock, or maybe it’s a subconscious impulse to reject someone who has, in a way, broken your trust, your confidence in them. Whatever the reason (social aptitude aside), I’ve seen lots of friends expect one thing, find something different, and give pretty much the same reasons listed.

]]> By: Chris http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1358 Chris Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:12:11 +0000 http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1358 Yes, scientific research and sociological study indeed, Nick. Allow me to present my dissertation on the subject: <i> "Much like me in Vancouver, he had very little opportunity to communicate with people face to face." We can see from this behavior that both subjects ("Bob" and the author) lack any semblance of social skills, leading to the inability to sustain an actual personal relationship.</i> OMG GIVE ME THE FREAKIN PHD Seriously, what do you expect to happen when you don't spend time actually talking to people in real life? Do you believe something stupid like "love will make up for all my faults"? Bitch, please. And don't spew any bullshit about "it's hard to meet people where I live" and "I'm too busy to develop my social skills" because I couldn't care less how antisocial you are in the real world; it's <i>still</i> highly stupid to think that a relationship will work without those skills. The obvious yellow fever will not help either fellas. If you're lacking in the social department, an Asian (especially Korean) princess will not help in any way. They will demand more attention out of you than you would <i>ever</i> be willing to devote to yourself. P.S. Nick, I'm glad to see more lesbians talking about their relationships, even if its online. I mean you are a lesbian right? Because it sure sounds like you have a gaping vagina. Or that you're a motivational speaker who takes himself too seriously. Either way. Yes, scientific research and sociological study indeed, Nick. Allow me to present my dissertation on the subject:


“Much like me in Vancouver, he had very little opportunity to communicate with people face to face.”

We can see from this behavior that both subjects (”Bob” and the author) lack any semblance of social skills, leading to the inability to sustain an actual personal relationship.

OMG GIVE ME THE FREAKIN PHD

Seriously, what do you expect to happen when you don’t spend time actually talking to people in real life? Do you believe something stupid like “love will make up for all my faults”? Bitch, please.

And don’t spew any bullshit about “it’s hard to meet people where I live” and “I’m too busy to develop my social skills” because I couldn’t care less how antisocial you are in the real world; it’s still highly stupid to think that a relationship will work without those skills.

The obvious yellow fever will not help either fellas. If you’re lacking in the social department, an Asian (especially Korean) princess will not help in any way. They will demand more attention out of you than you would ever be willing to devote to yourself.

P.S. Nick,
I’m glad to see more lesbians talking about their relationships, even if its online. I mean you are a lesbian right? Because it sure sounds like you have a gaping vagina. Or that you’re a motivational speaker who takes himself too seriously. Either way.

]]> By: Nick http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1356 Nick Sat, 31 May 2008 21:20:03 +0000 http://www.j2fi.net/2008/05/27/the-painful-long-distance-only-relationship/#comment-1356 I feel bad for your friends, I definitely see potential for some scientific research and sociologists studying this issue. I think the solution is (very hard and quite simple) that both parties need to realize the difference between ideal situations and reality and that both need to remember to communicate. My girlfriend and I have a saying that we remind each other quite often when one of us is keeping something bottled up or being unusually quite, we say "Communication is the key" and that seems to get the other to open up and say something. I feel bad for your friends, I definitely see potential for some scientific research and sociologists studying this issue. I think the solution is (very hard and quite simple) that both parties need to realize the difference between ideal situations and reality and that both need to remember to communicate.

My girlfriend and I have a saying that we remind each other quite often when one of us is keeping something bottled up or being unusually quite, we say “Communication is the key” and that seems to get the other to open up and say something.

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