I got a great taste for all the cultures both high-class and low, urban and rural. It was definitely the highest point in my life, despite a sort of creeping loneliness, and I was definitely numbed to whatever culture shock. I also polished off Mandarin Chinese (which proved to be the most useful language I learned) and become intelligible in Korean. I “spoke” Japanese, but you’d hardly know it.

Fast forward, I got a job which would put me in Japan for 5 years (admittedly, my first choice was Singapore, beautiful, wonderful Singapore). I go there with all the expectations I had before…

A few things I could never get over. I felt like I was drowning in the feigned politeness, in China, people always tried to avoid conflict, but as soon as you showed yourself friendly, they were wonderfully vulgar and very approachable, in Japan, I couldn’t get people to open up, even the most darling woman and her daughters who became my closest friends always treated me with a strictly, “You are here, You are right” Is it wrong to want something more genuine?

I’ll admit I craved pork after living a year in Japan, but I could live. Of course life was different, but I love different, I still felt very alone in Japan even though everyone insisted (under that strange, condescending politeness only the Japanese can pull off) that my “Japanese was very good” and “I use chopsticks well” and “you bow well” (which I didn’t even really understand to be honest…)

I made sure to really hone my Japanese, every day (even when I was assured to be fluent by the most (relatively) direct people I knew) and study Japanese history. That frightened me the most.

Maybe it’s from coming from America where we proudly display “We had slaves. We abused them, we hurt them, we did it and it was horrible, learn from it!” Or, “We met the natives. We abused them, we hurt them, we slaughtered them mercilessly and it was horrible, learn from it!”

Not so in Japan. I remember constantly checking my teacher’s discussions, and half of what he said just wasn’t true. Statistics were made up, and I remember how he glorified Japan even in its darkest hours (when in America my teachers made sure I knew just how horrible it all was)

I pressed a formal complaint and found another teacher. This teacher did not make up statistics, instead he worded his Japanese (if teachers in Japan really “word” anything, more grunt) in a way that was always subtly hinting at Japanese superiority, being the only foreigner in the class, I wonder if he was simply piling on that Japanese politeness which I could never really grasp.

After that class, I found another, subtlety was not his game. Every class I would listen to a beautiful, yet disturbing description of how Japan had no faults. I thought I was back listening to my American friends talk about their Otaku lifestyles. This was really dark, however, because I soon heard every reason why Korea was some horrible abomination of nature.

I remember physically laughing, and oh, what a mistake, when he explained how China had never influenced Japanese culture. Fed up, I asked about the fact that Japan was a poor mass of fishing villages before the Chinese taught them how to write. I received the most honest opinion I ever had in Japan. A racist joke about my bug eyes and non-divine racial origins.

That was three years, I felt like I was being indoctrinated with Japanese history.

I got out at 4 through miles of red tape, and was relocated to Seattle, my next is definitely to Singapore.

I feel that Japan has some seriously disturbing problems (unless I had the only three professors who decided to rewrite history or say “children of the sun god” a thousand times a class period, but rewriting history just isn’t possible these days, and I was apparently the only one who complained.)

Sadly that stigma continues, I returned to America and remembered how wonderful it was to hear women speak at a normal tone range, not squeak, and men not grunt. English is so much sweeter when you are away from it.

I talked to a few British expats in Japan, and the only one who had had a history class explained a similar experience. Honestly, the lack of any personal space and avoiding any eye contact was fine, though I often chuckled to myself as I walked down the street, 6′6″ with a wonderful view. I actually waited those three years to hear “Godzilla” even if it was my Expat friends, just to see if anyone would look and say “Racist bastard” anything… that never came… maybe that’s why Japan doesn’t work for me.

I am whining, I’ll admit, but I still feel like it has some legitimacy to it.

Oh, and this is all throughout Asia, indiscriminately. Smoking. EVERYWHERE. I think that they think it’s a very hip western thing. They seem behind the curve there. I remember once having a rock thrown at me by a child with a massive cigar in his mouth and being scolded by his mother for being… there to be thrown at. Very unreal actually.

I know in Singapore you drop trash when you’re done with it, the cops care more if you are eating a Durian outside than if you’re shoplifting… but I love the place, approachable people who speak a language which I haven’t gotten annoyed of after 8 years of study and conversation (but just wait until I’m surrounded by it). And the food! With the exception of Thailand, it’s the best, and the cheapest! A gourmet Satay, a bowl of honeyed walnut noodles (from what I claim as “my little secret”) and a fresh Mangosteen…

I think the closer you go to the equator, the happier the folks. Japan wasn’t gloomy, persay, but just so businesslike, sort of like Hong Kong, though definitely slower (I don’t care what anybody says, nothing’s more fast paced than Hong Kong) I think that maybe Hong Kong seems like a happier place is because everyone is screaming Cantonese, and not grunting Japanese.

I just suggest for anyone with Japan plans, be prepared for disappointment, and don’t even try studying those etiquette books. I would much rather have gone to Japan a total slob, insulted everyone, just so that I might have learned “The Japanese Way” to do it all, not the translated way, believe me, there’s a difference.

On the other hand, as other readers said, some things are serious enough to warrant complaining about. Here’s my experience, and why I can’t go home (just yet).

I came here as a MEXT scholarship grantee, and after one year of studying the language and culture, I was bounced to a Tokyo university. I was told from the start that I wouldn’t be subjected to any “preferential” treatment, and that was 100% cool with me. Little did I know that “no preferential treatment” would translate into a worse kind of discrimination than I could’ve imagined.

In my view, when classes are in Japanese, it’s illogical to expect a foreign student to perform at the same level as a native Japanese speaker. My grades were sucky for two years straight, and I did my best through and through. When a teacher failed me for no reason at all, the university shrugged it off with a simple “his class, his rules”. Another teacher made a racist remark, and nothing was done.

But the worst part is that the Japanese students (my classmates) act like I don’t exist most of the time. I can put up with people trying to pass through me on the street or refusing to serve me as a customer, but when you see the same faces every day and you can’t even have a basic conversation with anyone (even though I speak fluent Japanese), you know you’ve got a problem.

I’ve already wasted three years of my life in Japan. I might as well finish what I started and graduate. But boy oh boy… I can’t wait to go back home. To Canada

This is probably why so many foreign people leave Canada after just a few years as well

Now, i’m in a different city with shitty kids, teachers who don’t respect me at all even though I have more responsibility. My last school the teachers chose to let me plan lessons, in this school it’s my job to plan an execute an entire curriculum. I’m in the biggest school in the city, completely overworked and it’s changed my entire outlook.
I find myself being affected by the negative things more. Yes people stare at me on the train and i’m not paranoid. I think the person who said that was out of line. How dare you try to tell someone else what they experienced.
There’s been tons of times when a Japanese male would sit next to me and just start staring. I can totally see him in my peripheral vision. Mostly it’s old people and children who stare….younger men if I wear a short skirt.
I don’t mind too much but some people do and sometimes people stare at you like they’re scared you’re going to hurt them or something and it’s very insulting. It’s like I’m not even thinking about you B***t.
There was one time when a group of kids and their mom got on a train and then the kids started like. I’m not sure what to call it no one wanted to sit next to me so one kid would get up and then the next kid would realized he was next to me and get up then one kid would sit down, the next kid would sit down but then when that kid realized there were no more kids they would get up, which lead the next kid to get up.
I was sooo pissed off and so over it that day that I just got up and left the train (before I said something I’d regret).
I wasn’t mad at the kids, I was pissed off at the so-called adult who just allowed them to be total brats without any regard for how their actions might affect others.
And talking about students being spoiled by their parents. Depends on the area. The first area I lived in, the children were fine. But in the second area the teachers are having a really ruff time disciplining the students and it’s all because of the parents.
Like we have this group of 5 girls who are just disruptive. One girl will just walk out of the class for no reason, open the door to another class, yell something at her friend who then walks out with her.
When the Japanese teachers call the parents, they’re the bad guys. And let’s just pray they don’t go running up and down the halls yelling and screaming.
It got so bad that the principal decided that those girls could not come back to school until they were ready to follow the rules.
It worked for a while but then the parents started complaining that their kids had a right to go to school. And did nothing about their child’s disruptive behavior. The other student can’t learn because all the teachers are preoccupied keeping these few bad seeds in line and if those girls are ignored they just get louder.
But no one can do anything about it because the parents swear their kids are perfect angels. One of them invited me to take a smoke with her…..she’s 12.
But dude I felt so bad reading your blog because…….I used to be stuck up just like you. I swear I’ve said those very same words to myself about other people who complained and especially about those people on the blogs mentioned above.
But 1) I learned to stay away from those blogs. 2) I’ve learned that some people just need someone to vent to. Someone who they THINK will sympathize with what their feeling and tell them that they’re not wrong to feel that way. I bet if you did that instead of just egging them to leave, you’d do a lot more for our friends. Maybe even try encouraging them to get a hobby to help them deal with the homesickness.
but stay away from those blogs I tried posting on them for advice before I came to Japan and was flammed for no reason. I asked for help and got flammed.
Just wanted to say that not everyone who complains about Japan is being a crybaby.
Just today, I had an incident that brought me to tears. But once the bad started out-weighing the good I purchased a ticket on the Peaceboat. In 4 months I’ll be gone. I just can’t take the fakeness anymore though I will miss my real friends.
Japan is only good in small doses for some.

I’ll admit that I do tend to have a rather black & white approach to solutions when it comes to topics such as this, so I’ll be sure to give your suggestion a try the next time. Who knows, it might just make the local community a better place for everyone concerned

They always say; “It is great that Japan is very clean, but now you see it is SO clean that our younger generation is getting many allergies and sick, so they have not built up a good resistance to even basic viruses” – Same could be related to its music scene and arts…they won’t take that risk so open up so it will always lie pretty stagnant with the Western bands only using the country as a touring device and the occasional “Live in Japan” CD.

I think they have alot to contribute to be honest…but until that changes, its always going to be one big tourist spot, a place for questionable looking “gaijins” who have enough money to abuse (honestly, the gaijins I have met don’t even conform to basic etiquette here – AND one of them stole my wallet in Shibuya!….) and the Western bands flaunting their superiority that they are known worldwide were as the Japanese “big” band equivalents aren’t.

I can only say think of Japanese bands like…well “Mono” or “Mad Capsule Market”…that is the only bands I can think of who are “known” in the West…kind of.

Anyhow yea, I guess I should have listened to my friends when they said; “You need contacts to survive here” or “Your music is a mismatch here” – I didn’t believe it, but now I do.

Personally I think China in the next few years will have a bustling music scene – Can’t wait to see what they produce once the veil is fully lifted!

I didn’t think the music scene was so one-sided here in Japan. I have a few friends that have been trying to get into the scene who always complain about some difficulties, but I thought it was just because they sound awful (they really do).

I hope that you can find success in your next home.

HOWEVER…after living here for nearly a year I have decided to leave because of one crucial factor about Japan which completely debilitates the experience for me; Its music scene.

Every country has a music scene and if your a musician (or regular gig go-er) you would know the whole tier system of gig venues for bands dependent on the size of your band, how many people you can pull on one night and promotion/label backing etc is dependent on the size of venue you play or when you play on the bill…however these factors are pretty null and void because of a few very simple reasons:

1: All live house venues (except maybe one or two) are pay to play, charging bands anything from 30,000 – 150,000 yen to play one night.

2: Live house doesn’t promote the show, charges customers 2000 – 3000 at the door + 500 yen drink fee. So nobody comes or 9 times out of 10 its only the band’s friends which are coming to each show.

3: Japanese audience is uncannily shy and sometimes won’t even applaud a band unless they say “Arigatou gozaimasu”…its still met with a shy applause. On the same factor too shy to take a demo CD from a band (Don’t worry, some bands are shit but honestly the audience is the same with 90% of the bands which play, so its just an unfortunate aesthetic).

4: No magazine/press people go to live houses regularly (due to “financial reasons”).

5: Billing system is chaotic with no rhyme or reason to who is playing first and last. Bands who are accepted to play and accepted because they can pay – therefore quality control on the night is terrible.

Your probably wondering what kind of live houses/Gigs I’m referring to, well of course your large halls with larger bands and promoter (only ONE promoter in Japan, nice way to monopolise!) backing are no problem, but I am talking about the smaller venues which have your young/new bands starting off etc – E.g the spine of the music scene (Every country has one).

Its just an unfair situation for these bands. They end up playing to nobody and paying so much out of their pocket while the venue laughs all the way to the bank with the band’s money (+ What they made on drinks and door prices). That is the main gripe with ALL Japanese bands here if you talk to them…the live house bosses are basically just crooks (this is why this system is frowned upon in the West).

So one CRAZY example was a friend of mine had his friend’s band play this show in Chiba, but suddenly 2 days before he got news his mother died suddenly and he wanted to cancel the show to contact his family who live overseas (he is a Japanese born musician, his family just live overseas now) and of course take time to grieve and make an emergency trip back to where his parent’s live etc – The live house was like:

“I’m sorry for your loss. You cannot cancel so please still play this show and pay 18,500 yen in cancellation fees after + consumption charge and tax – Total: 37,500 yen. Thank You.” – My friend said they kept calling him even when he left Japan to go back home…crazy! (He of course didn’t pay them…no contract was signed of course!)

Same thing happened to me when I was cancelling shows – Getting hawked by a live house for some cancellation cash (When there is no written contract! Just a word-of-mouth rule…so dumb! Its not in Japanese law, so its really their word against yours etc).

As for the CDs here…well hell even my friend here who has worked in Japan’s music scene for nearly 20 years as a producer says its madness how they charge you 3800 yen for a CD when you get it for 1200 in many Western countries (Yet again, here there is absolutely no justification for this reason).

Anyhow I came here to find out some of my heritage (I’m half Japanese) and play a few shows and if I enjoyed it live here longer, I was really happy to find such a wonderful country but at the same time so disappointed to see such a close minded and money obsessed culture leak into its arts/music scene. I would live here longer but I can’t accept or respect the music scene here – but I definitely will come back here many times!

If your wondering, all my friends are Japanese and I don’t have any “gaijin” friends (Except my friend who is a producer here, he is from NYC) – Unfortunately if you speak to most Japanese bands about music in Japan they will tell you its pretty terrible, I guess its because, like their culture, they are trying to keep it to themselves and sacred to Japan – So they force the idea that “Japanese music” or “Japanese melodies” in vocals/instruments etc is popular – but this never translates well over to the West when band’s want to tour….You don’t see America or Britain saying “Let’s be really British/American in this song”…so there is a problem with having an open-mind or border-less here, its mainly all poor imitation in the end and is all really horribly artificial in its execution (the bands AND the audience) – its all really soulless in its atmosphere.

Then you have the gaijin press being (almost unintentionally racist) condescending in the picture they paint of Japan’s music scene – Everything is either J-Rock/Visual Kei/J-Pop or “Fucking WEIRD because its SO JAPANESE!!!!”…simply not true – Come here and you’ll find all the mentioned latter genres is actually very unpopular here (it has the promotion backing, but the sales and show tickets are poor) – So the gaijins spoilt it alot for them by pigeon-holing them too much and disregarding the REAL music scene here.

You have to also remember (guys like DJ Sisen have said this before) that there is a BIT of a time lag here in Japan’s music scene or “pop-culture” scene. So they are always trying to catch up with the West and this is most prominent in its music scene.

I just got so depressed when I would show almost all my friends incredibly intelligent/political lyrics to some post-punk/hardcore bands I like and their response would ALWAYS be: “Oh! Cool Kakoii!….I think in Japan this is not very popular song writing. So there is no bands here who write this style”. – I dismissed that initially, listened to the songs myself that the bands here were producing…found it to be true sadly.

Well I better finish this message….if your wondering what IS popular here…well, its dead simple;

R’n'b and Rap with “nice lyrics” (e.g nothing like “I’m gonna kill you and I have 100 ho’s yo!” – more like “I love you and I want to get married to you” etc).

Last note, for some reason metal music isn’t massively popular unless your band is a “joke band” (e.g they have a crazy image like “tribal guys” or something or the last band I saw “3 Japanese Elvis’s in their mid-50s” who loved slamming their instruments against the amps on stage).

So if your not a musician or don’t care about music much, then this country is gold. Highly recommend you come here anyhow!