Jeff Foxworthy had audiences around North America laughing several years ago with his “You might be a redneck” jokes and, while the jokes themselves are quite dated, the setup is not. So, as a tribute to the retired comedy act, and to oddities seen around Japan, here’s my rendition of the classic joke:

  • If you have a steaming-hot cup of coffee and no steam, you might be in Japan
  • If girls wear skirts high enough to show their underwear, but cover their ass when going up stairs, you might be in Japan
  • If the posted capacity is 60 people and you call 90 “a slow day,” you might be in Japan
  • If English is the unofficial second language, but nobody can understand it, you might be in Japan
  • If a large coffee is 300 mL, but a regular beer is the size of a mini-keg, you might be in Japan
  • If six people are walking down a crowded street, and insist on walking shoulder-to-shoulder, you might be in Japan
  • If you’re paid for five days and expected to work six, you might be in Japan
  • If you see someone who looks amazing in a dress, then later find out it’s a man, you might be in Japan
  • If you’ve got 15 Louis Vitton handbags, and teeth more crooked than a Ferengi, you might be in Japan

Okay … Some of these are pretty weak. That said, I’ll open the floor to you. Can you think of any good “You might be in Japan” jokes?